Communication and connecting
Connecting
All the ways children reach out, communicate and connect. This is not always through speech.
Communication and connecting
All the ways children reach out, communicate and connect. This is not always through speech.
Speech is one way children connect, but it is only one of many. A child might connect through play, movement, sounds, actions, or sharing something they enjoy. Connection can also be with the world around them, including nature and objects.
Some children connect in ways others may not expect. Even if people do not see their actions and behaviour as communication, they can still carry meaning.
This section explores the many ways children reach out and engage, including through objects and technology. It starts by noticing how each child connects.
Some children connect most easily through a shared object, topic or activity. A child may engage closely with a favourite toy or subject, or return to the same game or routine as a way of engaging with others. This kind of connection is real and meaningful, even when it looks different from typical play.
Sometimes this is called non-formal communication. It is communication not using speaking, writing or signing.
It can include:
AAC covers ways of communicating beyond or instead of speech. This includes picture boards, symbol systems and speech-generating devices. AAC does not replace speech; for many children it supports it.
Connection can be visual. This can include:
Social stories, Easy Read, AAC symbols or PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) are different ways to use visual communication. These can help children who find it difficult to express choices, needs and feelings reliably through speech.
People can use them in various ways. For example:
It may take a little time to find what works for your child.
Signing is another way that children can communicate. Anyone can use it, including the deaf community or those with limited or no speech. There are different systems. The British Sign Language, BSL is the one most used in the UK.
Makaton is a communication programme that uses speech, signs and symbols.
National Deaf Children’s Society page on sign language
Sense charity for children with disabilities page on sign language
Fun and humour can be a great way to connect. From the earliest months of life, a baby’s smile during peek-a-boo can be one of the first shared moments.
People can share visual and physical comedy without using words. Silly faces and exaggerated expressions can turn into a playful exchange.
Sometimes, though, humour is difficult. A child may find sarcasm or the social meaning behind a joke difficult to understand. Others may mock children with disabilities, which is hurtful.
Humour can also help when a situation feels difficult. If a child finds being asked to put on their shoes hard, an adult trying to put on the child’s shoes instead can change the mood. The child gets to correct the adult—and correcting adults is often fun!
For a child who connects differently, a safe environment is important. It is also the basis of a healthy connection that allows the child to grow. Even fun and humour rely on respecting the autonomy and perspective of the child.
Children with neurodevelopmental differences need to feel safe in the surrounding spaces, with the adults who support them, and with the friends and technology they use. They also need help to understand the difference between safe and unsafe connections and relationships in ways that make sense to them.
NSPCC website page on safeguarding deaf and disabled children
NSPCC website page on safeguarding children with special educational needs
Mencap website page on safeguarding and learning disabilities
Mencap Easy Read resource on “what is abuse?”
National Autistic Society free resource on safeguarding and autism
Example — Sarah:
Sarah is non-speaking and autistic. She uses AAC (augmented and alternative communication) tools with pictures to show what she wants to do, and she can use some sign language. She plays with her two dogs by throwing them balls and giving them hugs. At school she has a best friend, they share an interest in a TV show and often just watch this together, without talking.
Note: Our examples are made up to show common experiences and are not real children.
For some children with neurodevelopmental differences, communication is different from typical peers. Here are some things a child may experience. Not every child will experience these, and every child is different.
Eye contact is one way of showing attention. Some children make less eye contact than is typically expected. This does not mean a child is not paying attention, not listening, or not interested. Looking away can be a way of processing — not a sign of disconnection.
Some children respond strongly to music, rhythm or sound. Shared musical activity like humming together, tapping a beat, or listening to a favourite song, can be a powerful way of communicating and connecting.
Some children seek sensory experiences, and this can also be a way of connecting. For example hearing small sounds that others cannot, or squeezing a teddy bear. Others can find some senses overwhelming, or perhaps a mix of both. See our senses information page.
Shared attention is when two people focus on the same thing at the same time. For some neurodivergent children, this develops at a different pace or in different ways. A child may share attention around an object, an interest, or a screen rather than a face.
Families told us communication and connection were important issues for their children with neurodevelopmental needs.
394
families filled out our survey
1 in 4
said their child had delays in understanding language
(107 out of 394)
1 in 3
said their child had speech delay or difficulties
(138 out of 394)
1 in 2
said their child was funny or humorous
(184 out of 367)
Growing Different Parent Survey 2024 – notes and limitations
394 families of neurodivergent children took part in our online survey. Most children were autistic (about 8 in 10). People chose to take part, so the figures show their experiences, not all children. We did not compare them with any other group, so they can’t show how common something is or what causes it. Some questions had more responses than others.
Please credit ‘Growing Different Parent Survey 2024‘ and read more in our survey insights page
A link is not an endorsement. We are not responsible for the content of external links.
Clear words and pictures – for children and adults with learning disabilities
Clear symbols – for children and adults who find pictures help. Signposts to external websites, and a Cambridgeshire and Peterborough local symbol library for use for free.
Connecting I Coping I Daily living I Diagnosis I Environment I Health I Learning I Senses I Speech I Strengths
We welcome your views
If you have feedback on this information, please contact us.
Information created: May 2026 I Next review: May 2029
We’re proud to hold the PIF Tick, the UK-wide quality mark for trusted, accessible health information. It is a sign of our commitment to clarity, inclusion, and evidence-based resources. Find out more about the PIF Tick here.
This site gives general information, not medical advice. We share information and resources, but we can’t offer individual or one-to-one support. Always check with a professional before making decisions about your child.
The content on this website is provided for general information only. It should not be construed as medical advice, and it is not intended to amount to advice on which you should rely. Before making any decisions based on the content of this website you are strongly advised to obtain professional or specialist advice.
Although we make reasonable efforts to update the information on our website, we make no representations, warranties or guarantees, whether express or implied, that the content on our website is accurate, complete or up-to-date, and we are not liable or responsible for any decision taken as a result. Please note that using automated summariser or translation tools may affect the accuracy of the information presented here.
This project has been made possible with funding from the National Lottery Community Fund and the CPCA (Cambridgeshire and Peterborough Combined Authority), delivered through Allia Impact Ltd.
