Daily living
Some children find everyday tasks harder than other children of the same age
Some children find everyday tasks harder than other children of the same age
Daily living skills are the everyday tasks most of us do without thinking.
For some children, these tasks involve genuine effort, and the skills may take longer to develop. Sometimes these difficulties are lifelong and need support.
These struggles can be linked to sensory sensitivities, learning differences, motor differences, executive function, or a combination.
A child may have physical differences such as using a wheelchair or a hearing aid.
These can affect how easy or difficult everyday tasks can be.
Daily living tasks can include:
Some children with disabilities may take longer to develop independence in areas such as dressing, eating or personal care.
This doesn’t always match other abilities. For example a child who reads fluently may still need help making a sandwich. Another child may dress themselves with ease but find washing or eating harder.
The pace of development is not always even. Some skills arrive early; others take much longer than expected. For some, they will need lifelong support.
The support with these skills can often fall on parents and the family.
Tasks such as washing, dressing and brushing teeth can be affected by sensory sensitivities or motor difficulties. They need coordination, memory and planning, which is not always easy for some children. A child may:
Supporting a child with daily living needs takes time and energy. Parents and carers may have to cut their hours or leave work. Some families carry a constant mental load of planning, organising and prompting.
In our 2024 parent survey:
External links:
Every child, whatever their level of independence, has a right to an education. They have the right to the support, care and reasonable adjustments that make it work for them.
Daily living needs can shape a great deal about school. It can affect whether a mainstream setting can meet their needs or a move to a specialist placement is necessary.
This help can be set out in an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP). Personal care, sensory needs, anxiety or tiredness can all affect attendance and how the school day works.
Getting that support is not always straightforward. Families often have to advocate, sometimes for a long time. Finding the right school can take patience and persistence. You don’t have to do it alone:
IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice)is a charity offering free, independent, legally based information, advice and support to get the right education for children and young people with SEND, including EHCPs, school support and appeals to the SEND Tribunal.
SENDIASS — Every local authority must run a free, impartial SEN Information, Advice and Support Service for families and young people.
Example — Naomi:
Naomi has ADHD and slower processing. She finds it very difficult to remember her things at school, and tends to leave tasks to the last minute. She often skips brushing her teeth or eating breakfast, and finds mornings hard because it takes her longer to fall asleep at night. She uses reminders and lists, and her family give her prompts to help with daily tasks.
Naomi is creative and full of ideas, and when something captures her interest she can focus on it for hours.
Example — Hassan:
Hassan has Fragile X syndrome and is autistic. It took him much longer than other children his age to learn to dress and manage personal care, but with patient support he can now do many of these things himself. But he still needs support and prompts to manage daily living.
He has severe anxiety and relies on a predictable routine, finding change difficult. He is easily distracted, and certain lights and textures are hard to tolerate, which can make daily life harder.
Hassan is affectionate and funny, with real warmth towards the people who know him well. With the right routines and people around him, he can manage his day and enjoy the things he loves, like bouncing on the trampoline and watching his favourite film over and over.
Note: Our examples are made up to show common experiences and are not real children.
For some children with neurodevelopmental differences, daily living can be hard. Here are some things that these children and their families or carers who support them may experience. Not every child will experience these, and every child is different.
Daily living difficulties aren’t only practical. For example teenager who can’t tie a shoelace can be aware that they are different.
Even if a child is not aware of their difference, they can be treated differently. This can wear on confidence and self-esteem. Being understood and helped without shame makes a real difference.
Some children do not have a strong connection to their bodies senses, such as feeling pain, hunger or thirst. So knowing when they need the bathroom or eating is harder. They will need prompts and support to make sure that they can look after their health.
Standard accessible toilets have no adult-sized changing bench or hoist. An older child or teenager who needs help with personal care may have nowhere private or dignified. This can leave families with nowhere to help change their growing child.
Changing Places toilets lists accessible public bathrooms in the UK
A child who becomes overwhelmed, or needs help at an age when others are independent can draw stares, comments, or assumptions. A child can be labelled as having ‘bad behaviour’ or ‘poor parenting’.
People can be kind and helpful too, however the risk of judgement increases with a child that is not doing what is expected at their age.
Many neurodevelopmental differences aren’t visible. Difficulties with executive function and planning, high anxiety, or limited language are not obvious to others. Because a child can “look fine,” their needs may be doubted or dismissed. A child may also be very capable in some areas, which can mask difficulty in other areas. Families often have to advocate to get the support their child needs.
Clubs, activities, soft play, days out and holidays are not always set up for disabled children, or those with significant independence differences. Activities with support can carry age or size limits, so families can be quietly excluded.
Siblings, parents and wider family often support and adjust around a child with living support needs. Sometimes a sibling may take on some of the caring role. Home life has to adjust to enable the child’s needs to be met. One parent may have to take on the role of full-time carer and give up work. Days out, visits and holidays can take more time, energy and planning. There may be safety and safeguarding issues both within and outside the home.
Many families in our survey told us that their children needed support in daily living (Growing Different Parent Survey 2024)
1 in 2
nearly 1 in 2 families said that their child had delays in daily living skills such as toileting or getting dressed (181 parents out of 394, 46%)
2 in 5
said that safeguarding and safety were issues (150 out of 360 or 42%)
1 in 3
said their child had fine motor skill issues such as writing or using a spoon (154 out of 394 responses or 39%)
1 in 2
parents said that picture books that help daily living skills would be useful for their child (150 out of 313 responses or 48%)
Growing Different Parent Survey 2024 – notes and limitations
394 families of neurodivergent children took part in our online survey. Most children were autistic (about 8 in 10). People chose to take part, so the figures show their experiences, not all children. We did not compare them with any other group, so they can’t show how common something is or what causes it. Some questions had more responses than others.
Please credit ‘Growing Different Parent Survey 2024‘ and read more in our survey insights page
A link is not an endorsement. We are not responsible for the content of external links.
References
Summers, J., et al. (2017). Activities of daily living in children with autism spectrum disorder. Autism, 21(5), 624–638.
Connecting I Coping I Daily living I Diagnosis I Environment I Health I Learning I Senses I Speech I Strengths
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Information created: June 2026 I Next review: June 2029
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